I AM THAT | CHAPTER 74 | NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ

|| THE TRUTH IS HERE & NOW ||

" Instead of searching for the proof of truth , which you do not know , go through the proofs you have of what you believe to know . You will find you know nothing for sure — you trust on hearsay . To know the truth , you must pass through your own experience . "

QUESTIONER : My question is : What is the proof of truth ?

Followers of every religion , metaphysical or political , philosophical or ethical , are convinced that theirs is the only truth , that all else is false and they take their own unshakable conviction for the proof of truth .

" I am convinced , so it must be true " , they say .

It seems to me , that no philosophy or religion , no doctrine or ideology , however complete , free from inner contradictions and emotionally appealing , can be the proof of its own truth .

They are like clothes people put on , which vary with times and circumstances and follow the fashion trends .

Now , can there be a religion or philosophy which is true and which does not depend on somebody's conviction ?

Nor on scriptures , because they again depend on somebody's faith in them ?

Is there a truth which does not depend on trusting , which is not subjective ?

MAHARAJ : What about Science ?

QUESTIONER : Science is circular , it ends where it starts , with the senses .

It deals with experience , and experience is subjective .

No two persons can have the same experience , though they may express it in the same words .

MAHARAJ : You must look for truth beyond the mind .

QUESTIONER : I have had enough of trances .

Any drug can induce them cheaply and quickly .

Even the classical samadhis , caused by breathing or mental exercises , are not much different .

There are oxygen samadhis and carbon dioxide samadhis and self induced samadhis , caused by repetition of a formula or a chain of thoughts .

Monotony is soporific .

I cannot accept samadhi , however glorious , as a proof of truth .

MAHARAJ : Samadhi is beyond experience .

It is a qualityless state .

QUESTIONER : The absence of experience is due to inattention .

It reappears with attention .

Closing one's eyes does not disprove light .

Attributing reality to negative states will not take us far .

The very negation contains an affirmation .

MAHARAJ : In a way you are right .

But dont you see , you are asking for the proof of truth , without explaining what is the truth you have in mind and what proof will satisfy you ?

You can prove anything , provided you trust your proof .

But what will prove that your proof is true ?

I can easily drive you into an admission that you know only that you exist — that you are the only proof you can have of anything .

But I do not identify mere existence with reality .

Existence is momentary , always in time and space , while reality is changeless and all-pervading .

QUESTIONER : I do not know what is truth and what can prove it .

Do not throw me on my own resources .

I have none .

Here you are the truth-knower , not me .

MAHARAJ : You refuse testimony as the proof of truth : the experience of others is of no use to you , you reject all inference from the concurring statements of a vast number of independent witnesses ; so it is for you to tell me what is the proof that will satisfy you , what is your test of a valid proof ?

QUESTIONER : Honestly , I do not know what makes a proof .

MAHARAJ : Not even your own experience ?

QUESTIONER : Neither my experience , nor even existence .

They depend on my being conscious .

MAHARAJ : And your being conscious depends on what ?

QUESTIONER : I do not know .

Formerly , I would have said : on my body ; now I can see that the body is secondary , not primary , and cannot be considered as an evidence of existence .

MAHARAJ : I am glad you have abandoned the l-am-the-body idea , the main source of error and suffering .

QUESTIONER : I have abandoned it intellectually , but the sense of being the particular , a person , is still with me .

I can say : " I am " , but what I am I cannot say .

I know I exist , but I do not know what exists .

Whichever way I put it , I face the unknown .

MAHARAJ : Your very being is the real .

QUESTIONER : Surely , we are not talking of the same thing .

I am not some abstract being .

I am a person , limited and aware of its limitations .

I am a fact , but a most unsubstantial fact I am .

There is nothing I can build on my momentary existence as a person .

MAHARAJ : Your words are wiser than you are !

As a person , your existence is momentary .

But are you a person only ?

Are you a person at all ?

QUESTIONER : How am I to answer ?

My sense of being proves only that I am ; it does not prove anything which is independent of me .

I am relative , both creature and creator of the relative .

The absolute proof of the Absolute Truth — what is it , where is it ?

Can the mere feeling " I am " be the proof of reality ?

MAHARAJ : Of course not .

" I am " and " the world is " are related and conditional .

They are due to the tendency of the mind to project names and shapes .

QUESTIONER : Names and shapes and ideas and convictions , but not truth .

But for you , I would have accepted the relativity of everything , including truth , and learnt to live by assumptions .

But then I meet you and hear you talking of the Absolute as within my reach and also as supremely desirable .

Words like peace , bliss , eternity , immortality , catch my attention , as offering freedom from pain and fear .

My inborn instincts : pleasure seeking and curiosity are roused and I begin to explore the realm you have opened .

All seems most attractive and naturally I ask .

Is it attainable ?

Is it real ?

MAHARAJ : You are like a child that says : Prove that the sugar is sweet then only I shall have it .

The proof of the sweetness is in the mouth not in the sugar .

To know it is sweet , you must taste it , there is no other way .

Of course , you begin by asking : Is it sugar ?

Is it sweet ?

and you accept my assurance until you taste it .

Then only all doubts dissolve and your knowledge becomes first hand and unshakable .

I do not ask you to believe me .

Just trust me enough to begin with .

Every step proves or disproves itself .

You seem to want the proof of truth to precede truth .

And what will be the proof of the proof ?

You see , you are falling into a regress .

To cut it you must put a stop to asking for proofs and accept , for a moment only , something as true .

It does not really matter what it is .

It may be GOD , or me , or your own self .

In each case you accept something , or somebody , unknown as true .

Now , if you act on the truth you have accepted , even for a moment , very soon you will be brought to the next step .

It is like climbing a tree in the dark — you can get hold of the next branch only when you are perched on the previous one .

In science it is called the experimental approach .

To prove a theory you carry out an experiment according to the operational instructions , left by those who have made the experiment before you .

In spiritual search the chain of experiments one has to make is called Yoga .

QUESTIONER : There are so many Yogas , which to choose ?

MAHARAJ : Of course , every jnani will suggest the path of the jnani's own attainment as the one known most intimately .

But most of them are very liberal and adapt their advice to the needs of the enquirer .

All the paths take you to the purification of the mind .

The impure mind is opaque to truth ; the pure mind is transparent .

Truth can be seen through it easily and clearly .

QUESTIONER : I am sorry , but I seem unable to convey my difficulty .

I and asking about the proof of truth and am being given the methods of attaining it .

Assuming I follow the methods and attain some most wonderful and desirable state , how do I come to know that my state is true ?

Every religion begins with faith and promises some ecstasy .

Is the ecstasy of the real , or the product of faith ?

For , if it is an induced state , I shall have nothing to do with it .

Take Christianity that says : Jesus is your Saviour , believe and be saved from sin .

When I ask a sinning Christian how is it that one has not been saved from sin in spite of one's faith in Christ , one answers : My faith is not perfect .

Again we are in the vicious circle — without perfect faith — no salvation , without salvation — no perfect faith , hence no salvation .

Conditions are imposed which are unfulfillable and then we are blamed for not fulfilling them .

MAHARAJ : You do not realise that your present waking state is one of ignorance .

Your question about the proof of truth is born from ignorance of reality .

You are contacting your sensory and mental states in consciousness , at the point of " I am " , while reality is not mediated , not contacted , not experienced .

You are taking duality so much for granted , that you do not even notice it , while to me variety and diversity do not create separation .

You imagine reality to stand apart from names and forms , while to me names and forms are the ever changing expressions of reality and not apart from it .

You ask for the proof of truth while to me all existence is the proof .

You separate existence from being and being from reality , while to me it is all one .

However much you are convinced of the truth of your waking state , you do not claim it to be permanent and changeless , as I do when I talk of mine .

Yet I see no difference between us , except that you are imagining things , while I do not .

QUESTIONER : First you disqualify me from asking about truth , then you accuse me of imagination !

What is imagination to you is reality to me .

MAHARAJ : Until you investigate .

I am not accusing you of anything .

I am only asking you to question wisely .

Instead of searching for the proof of truth , which you do not know , go through the proofs you have of what you believe to know .

You will find you know nothing for sure — you trust on hearsay .

To know the truth , you must pass through your own experience .

QUESTIONER : I am mortally afraid of samadhis and other trances , whatever their cause .

A drink , a smoke , a fever , a drug , breathing , singing , shaking , dancing , whirling , praying , sex or fasting , mantras or some vertiginous abstraction can dislodge me from my waking state and give me some experience , extraordinary because unfamiliar .

But when the cause ceases , the effect dissolves and only a memory remains , haunting but fading .

Let us give up all means and their results , for the results are bound by the means ; let us put the question anew ; can truth be found ?

MAHARAJ : Where is the dwelling place of truth where you could go in search of it ?

And how will you know that you have found it ?

What touchstone do you bring with you to test it ?

You are back at your initial question : What is the proof of truth ?

There must be something wrong with the question itself , for you tend to repeat it again and again .

Why do you ask what are the proofs of truth ?

Is it not because you do not know truth first hand and you are afraid that you may be deceived ?

You imagine that truth is a thing which carries the name " truth " and that it is advantageous to have it , provided it is genuine .

Hence your fear of being cheated .

You are shopping for truth , but you do not trust the merchants .

You are afraid of forgeries and imitations .

QUESTIONER : I am not afraid of being cheated .

I am afraid of cheating myself .

MAHARAJ : But you are cheating yourself in your ignorance of your true motives .

You are asking for truth , but in fact you merely seek comfort , which you want to last for ever .

Now , nothing , no state of mind , can last for ever .

In time and space there is always a limit , because time and space themselves are limited .

And in the timeless the words " for ever " have no meaning .

The same with the " proof of truth " .

In the realm of non-duality everything is complete , its own proof , meaning and purpose .

Where all is one , no supports are needed .

You imagine that permanence is the proof of truth , that what lasts longer is somehow more true .

Time becomes the measure of truth .

And since time is in the mind , the mind becomes the arbiter and searches within itself for the proof of truth — a task altogether impossible and hopeless !

QUESTIONER : Were you to say : Nothing is true , all is relative , I would agree with you .

But you maintain there is truth , reality , perfect knowledge , therefore I ask : What is it and how do you know ?

And what will make me say : Yes , Maharaj was right ?

MAHARAJ : You are holding on to the need for a proof , a testimony , an authority .

You still imagine that truth needs pointing at and telling you : " Look , here is truth " .

It is not so .

Truth is not the result of an effort , the end of a road .

It is here and now , in the very longing and the search for it .

It is nearer than the mind and the body , nearer than the sense " I am " .

You do not see it because you look too far away from yourself , outside your innermost being .

You have objectified truth and insist on your standard proofs and tests , which apply only to things and thoughts .

QUESTIONER : All I can make out from what you say is that truth is beyond me and I am not qualified to talk about it .

MAHARAJ : You are not only qualified , but you are truth itself .

Only you mistake the false for the true .

QUESTIONER : You seem to say : Do not ask for proofs of truth .

Concern yourself with untruth only .

MAHARAJ : The discovery of truth is in the discernment of the false .

You can know what is not .

What is — you can only be .

Knowledge is relative to the known .

In a way it is the counterpart of ignorance .

Where ignorance is not , where is the need of knowledge ?

By themselves neither ignorance nor knowledge have being .

They are only states of mind , which again is but an appearance of movement in consciousness which is in its essence immutable .

QUESTIONER : Is truth within the realm of the mind or beyond ?

MAHARAJ : It is neither , it is both .

It cannot be put into words .

QUESTIONER : This is what I hear all the time — inexpressible ( anirvachaniya ) .

It does not make me wiser .

MAHARAJ : It is true that it often covers sheer ignorance .

The mind can operate with terms of its own making , it just cannot go beyond itself .

That which is neither sensory nor mental , and yet without which neither sensory nor the mental can exist , cannot be contained in them .

Do understand that the mind has its limits ; to go beyond , you must consent to silence .

QUESTIONER : Can we say that action is the proof of truth ?

It may not be verbalised , but it may be demonstrated .

MAHARAJ : Neither action nor inaction .

It is beyond both .

QUESTIONER : Can one ever say : " Yes , this is true " ?

Or is one limited to the denial of the false ?

In other words , is truth pure negation ?

Or , does a moment come when it becomes assertion ?

MAHARAJ : Truth cannot be described , but it can be experienced .

QUESTIONER : Experience is subjective , it cannot be shared .

Your experiences leaves me where I am .

MAHARAJ : Truth can be experienced , but it is not mere experience .

I know it and I can convey it , but only if you are open to it .

To be open means to want nothing else .

QUESTIONER : I am full of desires and fears .

Does it mean that I am not eligible for truth ?

MAHARAJ : Truth is not a reward for good behaviour , nor a prize for passing some tests .

It cannot be brought about .

It is the primary , the unborn , the ancient source of all that is .

You are eligible because you are .

You need not merit truth .

It is your own .

Just stop running away by running after .

Stand still , be quiet .

QUESTIONER : If you want the body to be still and the mind — quiet , tell me how it is done .

In self-awareness I see the body and the mind moved by causes beyond my control .

Heredity and environment dominate me absolutely .

The mighty " I am " , the creator of the universe , can be wiped out by a drug temporarily , or a drop of poison — permanently .

MAHARAJ : Again , you take yourself to be the body .

QUESTIONER : Even if I dismiss this body of bones , flesh and blood as not-me , still I remain with the subtle body made up of thoughts and feelings , memories and imaginations .

If I dismiss these also as not-me , I still remain with consciousness , which also is a kind of body .

MAHARAJ : You are quite right , but you need not stop there .

Go beyond .

Neither consciousness , nor the " I am " at the centre of it are you .

Your true being is entirely un-self-conscious , completely free from all self-identification with whatever it may be , gross , subtle or transcendental .

QUESTIONER : I can imagine myself to be beyond .

But what proof have l ?

To be , I must be somebody .

MAHARAJ : It is the other way round .

To be , you must be nobody .

To think yourself to be something , or somebody , is death and hell .

QUESTIONER : I have read that in ancient Egypt people were admitted to some mysteries where , under the influence of drugs or incantations , they would be expelled from their bodies and could actually experience standing outside and looking at their own prostrate forms .

This was intended to convince them of the reality of the after-death existence and create in them a deep concern with their ultimate destiny , so profitable to the state and temple .

The self-identification with the person owning the body remained .

MAHARAJ : The body is made of food , as the mind is made of thoughts .

See them as they are .

Non-identification , when natural and spontaneous , is liberation .

You need not know what you are .

Enough to know what you are not .

What you are you will never know , for every discovery reveals new dimensions to conquer .

The unknown has no limits .

QUESTIONER : Does it imply ignorance for ever ?

MAHARAJ : It means that ignorance never was .

Truth is in the discovery not in the discovered .

And to discovery there is no beginning and no end .